Another round of wedding season is rolling around. I only do wedding makeup on the side and it always gets busy in the spring and end of summer/beginning of fall. I’ve got 4 appointments lined up through a salon that I work with and it dawned on me that it’s that time of year again. I’ve been doing this now for about 3 years and while I thoroughly enjoy it, a list of questions always runs through my head while I’m carefully applying face after face of makeup and eyelashes.
I was married once nearly 10 years ago. I didn’t have a big wedding. It done totally a la Britney Spears and Kevin Federline…minus the jump suits and fried chicken. But, it was in the summer (August 10th) and it was a surprise to most people who showed up that day thinking they were just coming to a party. *I do not recommend anyone to do this. Run away and elope before you drop a bomb on unsuspecting friends and family. In my defense, I was 20 years old. Everything sounds like a good idea when you’re 20.* I married a man that I knew from high school. We were very much in love and I can say in confidence that if anything, we certainly had that. He was adorable and sweet and loving. We made a really beautiful couple and had high hopes to conquer the world and be together forever. But, the fairy tale was short lived and we divorced a year after we were married. I believe that most people are not well equipped to handle marriage at 20 years old and I was certainly one of them.
I see these brides of all ages with the same look in their eyes. The hope and excitement. The love and anxiousness. I always wonder where they’ll be in a year. Will they have kids? Will they survive what most do not? Will they figure out what they need in their relationship to keep it going?
I also think things like:
Why on earth did you spend so much money on that dress? (70% of the time, I’d bet that the dress came from David’s Bridal Barn.)
You do realize that your older sister hates you right now because she’s still single, right?
Did you know that bridesmaids don’t have to match? And that they hate those dresses? And the $300 dress you made them buy will end up on a Goodwill rack?
You’re ok with have to line dance later in your bare feet and big dress? You will end up “Strokin’” before the night us over. Probably twice. If you’re from the Westbank you will also “Back That Ass Up (‘cause you’re a big fine woman),” “Walk it Like a Dog,” and perhaps something called “Monkey on a Stick.”
Most of the time I wonder if this is the wedding they really wanted. I see lots of Moms with good intentions and lots of love often orchestrating every detail to the point where I don’t even think it matters what the bride to be thinks. I don’t know if I’ll ever get married again. It doesn’t really matter if I do or not. But if I did, I don’t really know what I’d want in a wedding. I do know what I definitely don’t want.
I don’t want a big white dress.
I don’t want anyone to match each other.
I don’t want ring pulls and bouquet tossing.
I don’t want anyone telling me what to do.
I don’t want line dancing.
I don’t want to do what I’m “supposed” to do…which might also be another reason why I’ll never end up married.
When it’s all over and I pack up my brushes and colors and eyelashes and glue, I leave feeling happy to have been a part of someone’s big day. I genuinely hope that it’s what they want and it’s perfect in every way that it can be…despite my interpretation of what a perfect wedding would or could be. After all, it’s not my wedding. It’s there’s. And the day isn’t about me. It’s about them.
Now pass me some cake.
